Hey Matt, is there any chance that you’re misreading my frustration? I’m not suggesting that the traditional church be dumped; instead, I was just voicing my frustration in finding a church in which I feel comfortable (i.e., one in which I would actively want to go). Now that we have a daughter, attending a brick-and-mortar church isn’t really optional; I was just hoping to get something out of the process.

I think it’s a safe assumption that we, as Wheaton graduates, are a more sophisticated bunch. (And it could also be that we’re inherently that way, regardless of Wheaton.) My ideal would be to attend a church that was alive, and with messages that actually challenged me cognitively and spiritually—as that is how I worship. And if you can’t challenge me to think, then please provide the same content from a perspective in which I may not have previously considered. (Which is what my ex-church in NoVa could provide for me.) And it’s been my hypothesis that the sophistication of the church leadership is directly correlated to the (over-used-word-of-the-day) sophistication and general spiritual quality of the church members.

So this is a small town, and while there’s (literally) almost a church on every corner, there are a finite amount of corners. The first in which we’ve recently attended had a dysfunctional child’s program that resulted in a newly acquired fear of strangers within my daughter. Their message was also lackluster and wholly unchallenging. The next church in which we attended had a message that, despite my best attempts, could not follow. It literally had no point, and was a message for one (i.e., the speaker); at least the child’s program didn’t abuse my baby. So that’s an option.

The most recent Episcopal offering had the liturgy, which I actually enjoyed. It also had the pseudo-Christian-relativism that seems to plague much of the Episcopal denomination. The head pastor flat-out and bluntly said (in his unchallenging 3 minute message) that the Bible wasn’t to be taken literally, and that it’s more of a supplement to living in love and peace. So that’s not an option.

So I’m frustrated. I’m not saying that I’m above other people, better than other people, that I don’t have to connect with other believers. I don’t even mind meeting new people, stuttering and all. I’m just saying that I’m frustrated, because we’re getting down to the bottom of the barrel. There’s only 3 more (major) churches in the immediate area that have an established kids program; if none can be found that provides any kind of mental stimulation, then we’ll pick the best program for Ella, and I’ll be bored to tears.

And I don’t want to be bored to tears; I actually cherish the idea of being challenged both spiritually and cognitively by an active, dynamic, and “live” feeling local church.

< / whine>

P.S. No comments on the “all that piss” distillation?