In the event that you often find yourself counseling single friends who lack the guts to break up with their significant others in a mature fashion, I present to you ...

dumpmonkey.com

Yes, that's right. For $24.95, your single, longing-to-be-free friend gets ...

1. A 16" plush "dump monkey" delivered to the ex.
2. A certificate explaining that the ex has been dumped on the following date and time.
3. A confirmation phone call placed to the ex ensuring that they understand the meaning of the dump monkey.
4. Free shipping.