Matt,

It's good to hear your voice, friend. It's been too long. You asked about the kids and how we are dealing with the news that we will be having a third boy. It's not quite as easy to answer as you might think. Take myself for instance. If I was operating in a pure vacuum with no outside influences, I can honestly tell you that I was fine with either a boy or a girl. I love being a father to two little boys, and I think adding a third to the mix will be a blast. But I would loved the change of pace as well. I would have loved the opportunity to see what raising a girl was like. How it was different? How it was better? Worse? You know what I mean.

But as I said, that's me in a vacuum. The truth of the matter is, I don't live in a vacuum. And Sarah really wanted a girl. And so, for me, the hurt is seeing her loss of a dream. I greive, not for myself, but for her.

But even there, that makes it sound like she's a basket case. And she's not. In fact, I was just saying to someone the other day that when she was first talking about it after the ultrasound, I had one of those moments where I am looking at her and I'm just terribly proud of her as a human being. She was getting it totally right. She was grieving the loss of a dream, while at the same time not losing herself in that grief. She felt free to express her various sorrows, but at the same time would state with confidence: "This is what God has planned for our family; and I know that His plan is the best. So I rest in that and find peace in that." Moreover, she's talking about how her loss pales in comparison to the losses of my brother and his wife who are struggling to even conceive. And in that comparison, she could see that her "loss" was nothing next to what they were experiencing. So it was this perfect blend of feeling free to express her true feelings while not allowing them to selfishly dictate her response to the news. She was just awesome.

So that's how we're processing all of this. We excited, sad, relieved (that pregnancy is almost a thing of the past), hopeful, etc... And in four months, we're going to have another little boy (who will probably, but not definitely, be named Aidan Micah) that were are thrilled to meet.