Dear Ex-Boss,

I'm really sorry that you got fired. But c'mon. You weren't doing your job. At all. And it was apparent to everyone but you; we all were even quite supportive of your delusional grandeur when you told everyone that you were fired because the dean viewed you as a threat. Although that may be half-right, because you were threatening the credibility of the department and the school. We're still getting calls from students (and their parents) asking if they've been accepted into this year's grad program (that started 2 or 3 months ago), and why they hadn't been given the courtesy of at least knowing their fate either way. And believe me--I'm not gleeful that I'm doing your old job. Sure it didn't get done when you were in charge, but at least it wasn't my responsibility. So when you're just providing me piles and piles of files that shouldn't have left the department building in the first place, don't give me attitude about how I am supposed to review them this very second. Because, quite frankly, I've got other things to do other than clean up your messes. Now please shut up and enjoy the fact that you're going to get paid all year for teaching 1 measly class. I hope you ask me to write a letter of recommendation, because your failed micromanagement style is something that needs to be discussed.

Sincerely,
Your colleague.