Operation Marmaduke Update:
Contact was made with the enemy this morning at approximately 08:00 hours. The hostile perp was sighted in our backyard, taking yet-another ginormous crap. Upon confronting the enemy, the combatant aggressively growled at the homeowner. Clearly, it was a case of self-defense. Rounds were deployed in the general direction of the enemy, although the light-caliber ammunition was not shooting straight. (This issue is being resolved by HQ, as Walmart is shipping heavier caliber rounds up to the front lines.) However, due to the CQB nature of the skirmish, the enemy felt the wrath of the M1911. Inexplicably, the enemy was so stupid that it just stood there, thereby allowing for more rounds being deployed in its general direction. Every hit resulted in a bark, each more pissed-sounding than the previous. Finally, the enemy sought refuge beyond the property line, and hostilities ceased.
Contact was made with the enemy this morning at approximately 08:00 hours. The hostile perp was sighted in our backyard, taking yet-another ginormous crap. Upon confronting the enemy, the combatant aggressively growled at the homeowner. Clearly, it was a case of self-defense. Rounds were deployed in the general direction of the enemy, although the light-caliber ammunition was not shooting straight. (This issue is being resolved by HQ, as Walmart is shipping heavier caliber rounds up to the front lines.) However, due to the CQB nature of the skirmish, the enemy felt the wrath of the M1911. Inexplicably, the enemy was so stupid that it just stood there, thereby allowing for more rounds being deployed in its general direction. Every hit resulted in a bark, each more pissed-sounding than the previous. Finally, the enemy sought refuge beyond the property line, and hostilities ceased.
posted by Greg | 9:10 AM
6 Comments:
yes, but was blood drawn?
You need this:
http://www.evolutionmodeltechnology.com/Paintball%20Turrets.html
Paintball... turrets.
Question one, of many: Who on earth has the time?!? and money?!?
Somehow I don't think it's the ultra-rich that are way too into paintballin'. Or retirees.
While the enemy was hit multiple times, there was not enough data to determine if there was a battlefield casualty.
In other news... the perp hasn't been in our yard since this skirmish on Saturday.
That's almost -- ALMOST -- a disappointing development, Greg. Your town "deserves a better class of criminal."
And just to be serious for a moment--I shot myself before I shot the dog. It really is a crappy situation, and the owners are 100% to blame... but the dog's become a threat to my child, and that's not acceptable.
So like a cop getting maced before they can mace others--I shot my left hand at point blank range w/ a .12 g bb. It stung like h$ll, but it didn't break the skin.
Since then, I've got .20 and even .25 g bbs...no way I'm shooting myself with those. And I won't use them on the dog unless I feel it's absolutely necessary.
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